| Date: | 2003-01-07 13:27 |
| Subject: | no work = a headache |
| Security: | Public |
| Music: | the sound of my rumbling stomach |
so i didnt go to work today and i am paying for it with this massive headache. nicole is at work so i have no one to talk to you. i am hungry but there is nothing to eat at at my house. why o why cant i live in a mc donalds. ooo there we go. time to eat!
can i get a what what
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s o w h a t ??: 3 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2003-01-06 12:33 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
books brains and barbeque
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2003-01-06 00:04 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
i have something to say but i cannot put it in to words. i think about you night nd day but i am too afraid to say. for fear of what will become encompasses me
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-12-26 01:46 |
| Subject: | b-i-n-g-o |
| Security: | Public |
bingo and tappg the blinking lights o a tanker truck..gotta love it
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-15 02:14 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
setting: 123pm. tropical storm genisicolala. a shopping plaza with a piggly wiggly. somewhere on the east coast (roughly intercourse pa.)
the wind was whipping and churning the butter for the amish that day. per usual (<3) it was my lover and i and a little boy wonder named omar. (he was our child. i guess) out on an after school adventure. little did we know we were the next made for tv movie, aka, the after school special.
as i stated before we were at the piggly wiggly to pick up some margarita mix, green beans and ketchup. little omee standing 4'4 at age 4 started his normal bitching about how the trailer was always missing some mac and cheese.
"Damn yo, like dis be fuckin stank. we need some mac and heesy up in da joint, ya know?" he said as he grabbed his groin.
"OMEE UGH.. come on i thought.. that well. DONT YOU LEARN THINGS IN SCHOOL?? DONT THEY TEACH YOU NOT TO TOUCH YRSELF IN PUBLIC? I DONT HAVE .. you know.. sometimes you make things really fucking difficult. DO I HAVE TO SEND YOU TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL?"
and like that. he snapped out of it. he returned back inside the buggy and kept quiet. he knew he was smarter than all the other children.. he just didnt act like it. but that was ok.
not even like .5 seconds later he went off. the annoying beeping and his afro mullet sticking up. his telepathic/magnetic powers sent him and the buggy straight out of the piggly wiggly into tropical storm genisicolala. as soon as he was out of the store he magically changed into a lime green adidas jumpsuit.
it was impressive, really.
there she was. like a bald eagle stuck in a pool of oil. hair slicked against her round little face. sitting in the shopping cart over by the hot thrusting cocks and books porn store.
being the stud that he was, omar downed four shots of steaming espresso and darted off into uncharted land. sooner, rather than later, he was by her side and pushed her through the horrendous winds into safety.
come to find out, this girl was an employee of the mattress giant and wanted to go out on a buggy ride before her shift began. she was distracted by the bright flashing porn store lights that she claimed "were calling her name" highly unlikely since her name was unchelesa. (just another sex fiend)
so it goes. another life was saved in intercourse PA on that not so lovely day. omar was quick to fall asleep that night hooked up to his machines in his required hospital bed while my lover and i discussed mr roboto (gwb) and watched pretty woman over and over/
fin.
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s o w h a t ??: 2 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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let it be known to the world that in a few days (oh so soon) she will say the words and i will fall to my knees and give her everything that i have.
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s o w h a t ??: 2 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-13 15:52 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
you know its special when you sneak online at yr second job, on yr second day, to tell that person that well, basically. tesas and mesico are separated by a river called the rio grande.
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s o w h a t ??: 3 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-13 15:51 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
you know its special when you sneak online at yr second job, on yr second day, to tell that person that well, basically. tesas and mesico are separated by a river called the rio grande.
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-13 14:59 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
dear you,
you are dear indeed. (this has been said before.) did you ever think you'd make someone ache?
like this.
oh.
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s o w h a t ??: 2 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-12 20:09 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
and i want you to notice. (how much i care)
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s o w h a t ??: 1 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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yr so sesy i wanna move to mesico and join their olympic team. uh huh. soccer coach all the way.
so tomorrow, i will wake up before most of you go to bed. and pick up hours in the dreaded coffee shop.. where people will tell me i dont deserve the amount of money i make because the espresso machine is slow.
not my fault buddy.
then. i will go to my second job. YES!!! yay for money.
and go out with some lovely people.. named jes and danielle.
emily sing something sweet for me.
so there it is. a "real" update. kinda.
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s o w h a t ??: 1 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-10 23:48 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
accountable to no one
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s o w h a t ??: 1 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-08 16:34 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
when i first saw you i knew that you were more than the other girls <3
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s o w h a t ??: 2 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-07 00:48 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
i sat there while you slept - i read while you dreamt. and i would never know the thoughts that entered your brain and you wouldnt either , mostly. it was a late night, or an early morning, whichever you would prefer, and i downed liquid heaven like i ached for something more.======================
you know, i really couldnt it anymore. so i seriously contemplated on waking him up. if you wouldnt talk to me, omar would. he's always willing and never in a deep snoring slumber. i went to his room and opened the blinds (much help that was) ...
"Yo, kid, wake it up, we're going to Walmart...."
yea yea. so time passes like it does in storyland and then we're magically there. Nothing special happened in the car on the way there that night except my favorite roxette song came on the 80's retro flashback station.
Since it was my first time going to the super walmart i was quite anxious and esited.. i knew right then i shouldnt have brought the kid along, especially since he walked like a pained 89 year old man with a broken hip. I have to tell you there is nothing more relaxing than a late night trip to the land of millions of flouresant lights. We first hit the garden section where i tried and tried to find you a fucking chia pet. But Al, the garden specialist, informed us that chia pets are a seasonal thing and to try back around Christmas. As soon as Omee heard the word Christmas his beady little blue rat eyes lit up to something as intense as a gigantic tsunami wiping out the unwashed villagers of one of those little quaint dot islands over in the Philippines.
"CHRISTMAS!!! MOM !!! PRESENTS??!?! ME !!! I WANT THE ICEE MAKER!!!"
oh fuck, AL! why did you have to do this to me!? you know you could have avoided the one word that children should hear once a year only, and you couldnt. I know that you dont know this, but for future reference.. dont say it except for on 12 25. It forces mothers like myself to spend hard earned money that i saved up for special things like new underwear and sewing machines on special little omee..who wants anything .. and everything.
it was clearly getting out of hand.
i thought of my options. making the little kid happy.. or going to the bar later that night when i tucked him in and hooked him up to his machines ..the decision was hard so i compromised. i would drink a Miller high life, yes because i am white trash, and he would get some duck tape.
he picked out the brown kind, which i thought was clever, since many kids (or adults) like to stay with the plain silver kind.. and he asked me what he could actually do with it.
I told him that i would not go into specifics until he was older..so i told him to construct the Brooklyn bridge for the time being.
"Oh yes, that bridge.. i tore it apart one night in my sleep, the night i had really awful gas."
Just lovely. so the kid was sitting between the electronics department and the womens lingerie departing taping across aisles and blocking peoples way. Then, something unexpected happened. He started beeping.
Dammit, i thought to myself, i thought the doctors had gotten this shit under control.
He saw it before it happened.. The display of Godzilla figurines came to life and were about to take all of walmarts customers hostage. The army of 120 12 inch stuffed, now fire breathing monsters came from the toy department and were headed for Omees bridge.
The looks on peoples faces, i tell you, were among the most frightened and confused i have ever seen. Omar got on the intercom and directed them to safety.. yes. to the huge grocery store side of superwalmart. He ordered them to grab all of the vinegar that they could find and throw it on the floor (i guess stuffed godzillas cant handle the acidity they like burn or some shit)
Sure enough soon the 120 evil doers were on the ground begging for another chance.
Outside.. all 85 news channels were already there, even the mayor. Omar was named the only hero of this shitty town and awarded the key to the city and a free lap dance when he turns of legal age.
Back home, we entered the house quietly making sure not to wake you up. I got back into bed and you didnt even notice that i had left or that your son had saved the world once again.
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-07 00:30 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
so a long night is alright?
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s o w h a t ??: 1 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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ill sit there while you sleep - ill read while you dream. and i will never know the thoughts that enter your brain and you wont either , mostly. is a late night, or an early morning, whichever you would prefer, and ill down liquid heaven like i ache for something more
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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Omar stepped off the ship at approx. 4:25 pm (yeah, that ship)
We drove 493 miles to the immigration line. Admidst the thousands of whatever they were, wherever they were from people came Omee with his handsome brown afro-mullet and his walker.
"Jesus, new mommies, it's been one hell of a trip."
Our first reaction, "Why does a boy of the age of 4 speak like a drunken sailor?"
His reply, simply, "Ive seen many wars, ive saved many lives, and i will accomplish many things."
He told us that his "beeping when he needs something system" also acts as a device that goes off when other peoples lives are in danger. Hah.
So we went out for sodas but he was reluctant because carbonation irritates his heart palpitation. He shyly asked the waitress for a bottle of cranberry juice (CJ) with some lemon.
As soon as the lemon coated with sugar was in his mouth it went off.
BeEEP BEEP BEEP MOTHER FUCKIN BEEEEEEP
"oh dear, its Ursula. The octopus tank is about to bust!"
And out of nowhere our little Omee bounced out of his seat and grabbed the waitress and pulled her out of harms way. But it was too late .. an octopus had already attached itself to ursula and started trying to procreate with her. He tore it away with his mouth and his hands. mm..
The reaction from the restaurant patrons was mixed.. Some were disgusted and others were in a permanent state of awe.
"But ,,, why your mouth??"
" Oh, it's customary to eat octopus in Japan, so i dont mind... it's also where i perfected the art of making tea.. "
"Son, how can I, ever... ever... oh god.. repay you?" she asked, breathing heavily like an old three hundred fifty pound woman would do when she's going for the free samples in the grocery store..
" Well.. y .. y.. o .. u //// uh see.. there is this fabulous suit at the Walmart that i'd look pretty fosy in.. yeah.. the one thats beautiful and rare like a bengal tiger."
She kissed his forehead and was on her way.
./ My partner and I were left there in a daze as we looked at Omee and we exchanged glances (the one like what the fuck are we doing, really, with this kid. it's ok though because we love him purely and no one else does)
So back in the beat up 70 chevy nova we went. All the way up to Memphis. He wanted his feet to tough Graceland and kiss the ground where the KING, the most revolutionary american idol of all time had stepped.
" OMAR DAMMIT!! get the dirt out of your mouth or its no peanut butter and banana sandwich for you!!!"
Ugh
Finally. we arrived to shady deserty burrow filled watertown, arizona just before oh lets say... 9am the nest day. Breakfast was being prepared by my lover and i woke up to the sound of the beep.
He lay in his tiny hospital bed with his hair slightly bedheaded. "Hey, yo, like dis is fuckin whack, but like dis dream .. i saw it all.. i saw you and me ma... we were floating. like peta pan yo.. and i was wonderin.. if you would buy me wings.. just so.. for once. i could feel something beside when otha people are bout to get da can.. it's like.. i dunno yo.. ive been thinkin and thinkin.. if you cant afford wings can i get me a bird and call him alfred? come on.. "
Little Omee fell quickly back into sleep.
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s o w h a t ??: 2 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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Omar stepped off the ship at approx. 4:25 pm (yeah, that ship)
We drove 493 miles to the immigration line. Admidst the thousands of whatever they were, wherever they were from people came Omee with his handsome brown afro-mullet and his walker.
"Jesus, new mommies, it's been one hell of a trip."
Our first reaction, "Why does a boy of the age of 4 speak like a drunken sailor?"
His reply, simply, "Ive seen many wars, ive saved many lives, and i will accomplish many things."
He told us that his "beeping when he needs something system" also acts as a device that goes off when other peoples lives are in danger. Hah.
So we went out for sodas but he was reluctant because carbonation irritates his heart palpitation. He shyly asked the waitress for a bottle of cranberry juice (CJ) with some lemon.
As soon as the lemon coated with sugar was in his mouth it went off.
BeEEP BEEP BEEP MOTHER FUCKIN BEEEEEEP
"oh dear, its Ursula. The octopus tank is about to bust!"
And out of nowhere our little Omee bounced out of his seat and grabbed the waitress and pulled her out of harms way. But it was too late .. an octopus had already attached itself to ursula and started trying to procreate with her. He tore it away with his mouth and his hands. mm..
The reaction from the restaurant patrons was mixed.. Some were disgusted and others were in a permanent state of awe.
"But ,,, why your mouth??"
" Oh, it's customary to eat octopus in Japan, so i dont mind... it's also where i perfected the art of making tea.. "
"Son, how can I, ever... ever... oh god.. repay you?" she asked, breathing heavily like an old three hundred fifty pound woman would do when she's going for the free samples in the grocery store..
" Well.. y .. y.. o .. u //// uh see.. there is this fabulous suit at the Walmart that i'd look pretty fosy in.. yeah.. the one thats beautiful and rare like a bengal tiger."
She kissed his forehead and was on her way.
./ My partner and I were left there in a daze as we looked at Omee and we exchanged glances (the one like what the fuck are we doing, really, with this kid. it's ok though because we love him purely and no one else does)
So back in the beat up 70 chevy nova we went. All the way up to Memphis. He wanted his feet to tough Graceland and kiss the ground where the KING, the most revolutionary american idol of all time had stepped.
" OMAR DAMMIT!! get the dirt out of your mouth or its no peanut butter and banana sandwich for you!!!"
Ugh
Finally. we arrived to shady deserty burrow filled watertown, arizona just before oh lets say... 9am the nest day. Breakfast was being prepared by my lover and i woke up to the sound of the beep.
He lay in his tiny hospital bed with his hair slightly bedheaded. "Hey, yo, like dis is fuckin whack, but like dis dream .. i saw it all.. i saw you and me ma... we were floating. like peta pan yo.. and i was wonderin.. if you would buy me wings.. just so.. for once. i could feel something beside when otha people are bout to get da can.. it's like.. i dunno yo.. ive been thinkin and thinkin.. if you cant afford wings can i get me a bird and call him alfred? come on.. "
Little Omee fell quickly back into sleep.
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s o w h a t ??: i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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| Date: | 2002-09-03 19:44 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
Name: nicole
Do you like it? im kinda stuck wit it now arent i
Nicknames: icky
Screen names: no turkey please
Age: 20
Birthday: 12.8
Sign: sag
Location: near PUERTO RICO!!!
School: your arms
Status: omar's beeping
Crush: hardcore
Virgin? of course
Natural hair color: brown
Current hair color: i dunno
Eye color: greenish i guess
Height: 5'6”
Birthplace: near cuba
Shoe size: 7
[ family ]
Parents: deb and jay
Siblings: yeah fuck
Live with: ma and pa
Favorite relative: aunt JOdi
[ favorites ]
Number: 33
Color: brown
Day: wednesday
Month: october
Song: favorites are bad news.
Movie: really really bad news
Food: potatoes
Band: GAH
Season: autumn
Sport: soccer
Class: history
Drink: AJ
Veggie: greenbeans.beans.corn...
Animal: doggy
Flower: rose
State: Massachusetts
[ this or that ]
Me/You: you all the way
Coke/pepsi: fountain pepsi. bottled coke
Day/night: Night
Aol/aim: AIM
Cd/cassette: CD
Dvd/vhs: Dont care
Jeans/khakis: jeans
Car/truck: Car
Tall/short: dont care
Lunch/dinner: dinner
NSYNC/BSB: neither
Britney/Christina: britney
Gap/Old Navy: gap
Lipstick/Lipgloss: lipgloss
Silver/Gold: Silver.
Alcohol/Weed: alcohol
[ love and relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: mmhmmm
Do you have a crush?: Of course
How long have you liked him/her?: oooh too many to count
Why do you like this person?: she's extremely talented .. and fuckin charming
If you're single... why are you single?: no no
If you're not single:
How long was your longest relationship?: 10 or 11 months.
How long was your shortest relationship?: heh
Who was your first love?: robyn
What is love? warmth.
[ the past ]
Last thing you heard: koko barking
Last thing you saw: flowers
Last thing you said: bye sweetie
Who is the last person you saw? my mom.
Who is the last person you kissed? cashelle
Who is the last person you hugged? the guy that brought me a veggie wrap at work
Who is the last person you fought with? i don't know
Who is the last person you were on the phone with? cashelle
What is the last TV show you saw? cosby show
What is the last song you heard? some sublime song.
[ the present ]
What are you wearing? gray pants and the hot red shirt and the hot belt that you bought me
What are you doing? looking at peechas
Who are you talking to? no one
What song are you listening to? n/a
Where are you? near the water
Who are you with?: upi
Are you online? Duh
How are you feeling? whiny
Are you in a chatroom? no
[ future ]
What day is it tomorrow? wednesday
What are you going to do after this? shower
Who are you going to talk to? just you
how old will you be when you graduate? im done sista
What do you wanna be? yours
What is one of your dreams? familiarity
Where will you be in 25 years? kissing her i hope
[ other ]
Do you write in cursive or print? both
Are you a lefty or a righty? Righty
What is your sexual preference? girls
What piercings do you have?: disgusting
Do you drive? yeah
Do you have glasses or braces? ewwww
Did you like this survey? I love surveys (me too, dave.)
[ physical appearance ]
What do you most like about your body? nose
And least? the rest
How many fillings do you have? zero
Do you think you're good looking? not really
Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking? people dont talk to me
Do you look like any celebrities? nah
[ fashion ]
Do you wear a watch? yea
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s o w h a t ??: 1 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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there he was... still as a tree that everyone stopped loving .
he had glasses. they were red and a little too thick for the average 4 year old.
i calmly walked over to him and said, "Son, what's your name?"
"Omar," he replied.
"Ok kid, get in the car, we're going to go where little kids go when no one else wants them. "
Soon he started beeping when he strutted across the crosswalk in his walmart orthopedic shoes because Omar is equipped with the whole "when i need something ill beep system" and little did i know that his hearing aid needed tuning.
yes. he burst out in a tantrum and i spotted my beat up '70 chevy nova across the way under the last standing palm tree in florida (which are not real palm trees mind you) and i said, "Hold on omee, we be dis close yo, just stop yr whining"
At the car i let him in the back through the trunk (he pretends he's dead a lot) and my friend turned around from the front seat, cigarette hanging out of her mouth and said, "You must be the kid, har har harrr," and then she belched. So we drove.. to god knows where. She ate green beans and offered him some but he informed us that he only eats canned beets. Terrific we thought.
Later that night we put Omar to sleep in his hospital bed (required) with dinosaur sheets. Through his thick framed glasses i could see the sincerity in his blue raspberry koolaid colored eyes when he said thanks. I hooked him up to his machines and walked away.
BEEEP BEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP
"Honey, please, ill do anything, go get omar he's beeping again. "
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s o w h a t ??: 3 o f y o u h a v e r i d o f m e - i n h a l e m e d e e p e r.
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